i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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