She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
