Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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