I'm so fucking centered right now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize