Who did Billy Mays play for?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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