A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
