Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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