handjob tips. give me some.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
