Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
