nut hugger
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
