If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
