If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize