after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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