any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
