Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
