i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
