i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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