What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
