you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
