Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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