the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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