i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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