atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
