..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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