I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
two words: eviction party
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
