tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
