Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
