Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she looked like the before picture.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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