no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
