Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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