all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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