I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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