I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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