but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
