I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
