my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
