I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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