I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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