how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
