So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
