Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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