once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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