why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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