Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
