this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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