Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
