Christians are straight up FREAKS
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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