I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
