do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
