my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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