I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
