If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
