Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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