wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
