im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
a search helicopter?!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
