Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
