I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
