I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
