she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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