I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
