I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
