that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
