PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
