I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
