2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
