Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
